I was never nauseous when I was pregnant. Not one day. Not even before Truman, when that blighted ovum sat in my uterus fooling me by placing a plus-sign on my pee stick. But I thought about it. I thought once while opening the fridge that I might feel a little queasy. I was so excited I called my husband. But that feeling passed even before my husband picked up the other line. I was fine.
If I had a wave of anything remotely like nausea it would be when I thought about or walked into Italian restaurants. I kept this secret from my husband because one of our favorite places, Gianmarco, is Italian. Practically once a week while my bean-shaped son grew in my belly we dined at Gianmarco as I nibbled on pasta and quietly wondered if this would be the day I would finally find my pregnant self bottomed-up to the ceramic can in the ladies room. If I knew now what I didn’t know then, I would not have feared having to even leave the table, because one company has made morning sickness bags chic. They call them Morning Chicness Bags.
I swear to god this product is true! I am totally buying a pack so that when I have a friend who announces she is pregnant (because thanks to medical technology, it should not happen to me again) I can just gift her some of the colorful and lovingly decorated bags (with names like “Labor of Love” and “Bambooboo”). I suppose, if she manages not to use them they can double as gift bags for Easter treats. The bags, measuring 5 inches by 3 inches by 9.5 inches, are made of sturdy paper with leak-proof polyethylene lining and horizontal closure clip. A pack of 10 is only $7.50 plus shipping! (I wonder if they have an odor shield…) They’re also available at some retail locations, far, far from my state.
The bags are intended to replace airline vomit bags, plastic shopping bags, or whatever you women who suffered from morning sickness carried around to puke in. As I said, I wouldn’t know because I never threw up during pregnancy. And I’m glad for that, except it sure would be fun to walk around with those groovy puke purses! Who says I can’t do it anyway? Never know when I’ll catch a stomach bug from my glorious son!
Photos, Model heaving into Bambooboo, above, and Morning Chicness Bags design options, right, courtesy of www.morningchicknessbags.com